I was waiting with bated breath for any of the Serious People promoting Elon’s fantasies to post a story about the latest news regarding his long-term lying about how close Full Self Driving was to fruition, but alas, apparently they’re not interested in stories that lean heavily into the years-old criminal investigation over those claims.
Recently the investigation has apparently led into the realm of possible wire and securities fraud, to which Tesla has responded with the strenuous denial that, “To our knowledge no government agency in any ongoing investigation has concluded that any wrongdoing occurred,” which actually would be nothing more than a simple acknowledgment that investigations into their criminality have not yet concluded, not a denial of anything at all. Quelle surprise!
Ah, well. I’m sure there will be a rush of explanations as to how this is actually:
1) A nothing-burger
2) Proving that FSD is inevitable and will make life better for everyone as soon as they clear up one or two minor details, like actually working as promoted by The Genius Himself
3) A Good Thing for Tesla stock prices, so invest now before it’s too late!
I’ve probably missed a few tactics, but look forward to other spins in the comments!